Why does my ual desire make me feel guilty? I dont understand it! Will women hate me?

I am a 19 yr old virgin and am very horny - all the time. I have had a few drunken snogs here and there and a little bit of a grope but nothing more. The girls ive snogged are strangers in a club and i never get their number, this one i did and we arranged to go out, but she stood me up and wouldnt answer my calls. Oh well, we only met the once and i want my first time to be with someone special, someone i love! Im not catholic, i am spiritual, but went to a catholic school. I know every time im with a girl that she's someones daughter, sister or even a mum! I find myself fantasising about their bodies and having with them tearing their clothes off and taking them on the floor, kissing, licking and nibbling them all over! It makes me feel guilty because i know they are people with hearts and feelings and not just a play thing. Ive met a girl im good friends with and she is beautiful, i masturbate over her. I never talked to my parents about , im embared. Would she understand?